GOP Congressman Devin Nunes’ Cow March 31, 2019
In the words of RFK, “Don’t get mad, get even.” Too many progressives thought that special counsel Robert Mueller would “bail us out” with a recommendation that Demagogue Donald be impeached because he had colluded with Russia and/or obstructed justice. We should not have been surprised by Attorney General William Barr’s 3/24/2019 less than bare bones report to Congress summarizing the Mueller findings. The bottom line--Mueller is a Republican as is Trump stalwart Barr as well as Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein. Barr, in fact, “auditioned” for his present job by initially arguing in a 6/08/2018 memo that special consul Mueller’s “obstruction inquiry was fatally misconceived (cnn.com, Watkins, E. , 3/24/17).” Barr’s deciding within 48 hours of receiving the Mueller report that there was no obstruction of justice by Trump is “very concerning” (nytimescom, Katyal, 3/24/19) and IMHO, highly dubious. Democratic lawmakers have indicated that they will move quickly to demand the complete Mueller report and call Barr before their committees to explain his “reasoning (See Kos, Hunter, 3/24/19).” Trump, his associates, and his family still face many pending corruption investigations in the Federal Southern District of NY, in NY state courts and in other jurisdictions. However, I repeat, again, the best and only way to “get even” is for Democrats and like-minded independents to “vote in droves” in 11/2020 to throw this corrupt top 1% authoritarian-loving “leader” out of the Oval Office. There are more of us than them. Democrats must constantly emphasize how Donald has tried to destroy Obamacare and hurt millions of Americans with his awful 1% tax cut. And now, “Trumpbot” Barr, with Donald’s blessings, has indicated that he wants the TX Federal District Court ruling by Judge Reed O’Connor rejecting all of Obamacare to be upheld on appeal. Again, millions of Americans will be hurt should this ruling be upheld (See Pear,R., nytimes.com, 3/26/19). Democrats must also repeat over and over how Donald’s administration is riddled from top to bottom with gazillionaires mired in the swamp of crony special interest politics, a morass our “leader” claimed he would “drain (LOL).” Donald’s constant lies and vulgar behavior are totally unfitting for America’s “top” leader and must be rebuked as well. Democrats must also discuss how they can improve health care, help rural and urban Americans, and bring jobs to the heartland and other economic “hollowed out” areas, something we failed to do well in 2016.
In addition to throwing out Demagogue Donald, his GOP “robots” in the Senate must also get their walking papers in 2020. We must additionally keep the House and expand our numbers there. The GOP House minority still behaves as if nothing really happened to them in 11/2018. GOP House members pine for a “restoration” of their power. They still remain Trump’s loyal infantry who will literally do anything for him. Ninth-term Tulare, CA GOP Congressman Devin Nunes (45), from a very safe “Red” district, remains Donald’s “point guard” and then some. In 2017, Nunes did his best to nearly scuttle a House investigation of Donald’s alleged ties to Putin’s Russia. Nunes, then chair of the House Permanent Select Committee on Intelligence, falsely claimed that he had seen information that the Obama administration had surveilled the Trump transition team. In 007 James Bond style, Nunes ditched his own car and went into another vehicle to reach the White House grounds. He was then “briefed” in a sensitive information facility on these ridiculously false charges (NY Times, Rosenberg, Haberman, & Goldman, 3/30/17).
Fortunately, after the 11/2018 “Blue Wave,” competent Adam Schiff (D-CA) now chairs the House Intelligence Committee (CQ Cong. At Your Fingertips, Standard Version). However, Nunes continues to look out and protect Demagogue Donald. Even before the summary of the Mueller report was released, Cong. Nunes went on FOX News’ “Fox & Friends,” Donald’s favorite show. He then stated that the Mueller report on Russia “should be burned.” He also said that Trump’s Justice Department should launch an investigation as to how Donald’s opponents learned about alleged wrongdoing by Trump and his inner circle (twitter.com/existential fish/status, Hunter, Kos, 3/24/19).
Nunes and other GOPers call progressive opponents, “snowflakes” who melt at the first sign of criticism. Well, just like his idol Demagogue Donald, Nunes employs the psychological defense mechanism of projection, wrongly accusing others of what he himself believes or does. Nunes is one big “snowflake” himself. When people in the least bit criticize him, even via satire, he goes ballistic. Suddenly, Nunes, “Mr. Defender of the original Constitution” wants to censor and inhibit the First Amendment’s vital guarantee of free speech. Cong. Nunes, a dairy farm owner, filed a $250 million lawsuit for online harassment. Why? Because a parody Twitter account @DevinCow makes fun of him. He says that this fictional cow account caused him “extreme pain and suffering (twitter.com/ndrew).” “Boo Hoo, Boo Hoo!” Poor little snowflake Nunes apparently forgot or doesn’t know that satire/parody has been protected as free speech by the U.S. Supreme Court. He obviously did not read the 1994 decision by Justice David Souter defending satire. In that 9-0 case, the Supreme Court stated the 2 Live Crew rap group’s parody of the rock classic “Pretty Woman” could be legally protected (Supreme Ct. 1993-1994 Yearbook, Jost, K.). Additionally, Section 230 of the Communications Decency Act plainly states that companies that post content provided by others on internet platforms are immune from liability (minclaw.com/legal-resource center). Nunes’ lawsuit should be tossed out easily in court. And even before he enters a courtroom, Nunes’ litigation threat has backfired “bigly.” As of 3/24/2019, @DevinCow has gone from 8,000 followers to 623,000, way more than Nunes’ own followers. And more @DevinCow followers will surely be added (huffpost.com/entry/devin-nunes-cow). Devin “Snowflake” Nunes and his fans canceled an April 11, 2019 fundraising Fresno, CA dinner. Why? They found out that protestors planned to crash the event wearing cow costumes and ringing cowbells (huffpost.com/entry/devincow-cowsuit).
Devin Nunes seems to get my “muses” flowing. On 3/30/3017, just over two years ago, I did a satire of Nunes’ 007 antics employing Johnny Rivers’ “Secret Agent” song. I will now use the popular childhood nursery song, “Old MacDonald Had a Farm” to spoof Nunes and his lawsuit against the fake cow. Again, all elections count. Nunes, in the minority now, is just as laughable as his fake cow. We must continue to make him an irrelevant laughingstock. Read the song and sing along. I hope you enjoy it.
Devin Nunes Had a Cow (to the tune of “Old MacDonald Had a Farm”)
Devin Nunes had a cow
And his cow said, “Get lost now.”
With a Moo Moo here,
And a Moo Moo there,
Here a Moo, there a Moo
Everywhere a Moo Moo
Devin Nunes had a cow
Devin Nunes loves FOX News
Devin’s Cow says FOX spreads Trump blues
With a fake FOX here
With a fake FOX there
Here a fake
There a fake
Everywhere a Trump fake
Devin Nunes had a cow
Devin Nunes hates the press
And his cow says, “What a mess.”
With a lawsuit here
With a lawsuit there
Here a suit, there a suit
Everywhere a lost suit
Devin Nunes had a cow
Go Devin’s Cow!